Professional Development Plan with Renee Dominguez
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Transcript
Welcome to thrive radio.
I’m your host Aimee Montgomery entrepreneur and digital marketing agency owner today.
My guest is Renee Dominguez. She’s a transformational leadership strategist. Who works with female clients, whether they are in corporate or an entrepreneur, empowering them to reach their next level of impact, wealth, and success.
Thank you for having me.
I’m so excited to be here.
Yes.
Can you share some of your story and how you got to where you are today?
Yes.
Well, let’s see.
How far back do you want to go?
So, I was in the corporate world for 20 plus years and from the outside looking in.
I was a success.
I hit all the checkboxes.
I went, I went to the right schools.
I have the right degrees.
I work at the right places.
I had the right titles.
I was making multiple six figures, but what people did not know Amy is that I was a hot mess inside.
I was having anxiety.
I was living in stress, I did.
I felt that I was heard seeing our respected.
I felt like if I had all these credentials, that would give me the confidence and the self-esteem to rise up in my career and be that Powerhouse.
But that was never the case and I thought there was something wrong with me and it was not till I went to conferences and I went to women’s and networking events where I shared my story.
And when I shared my story, these women who were lawyers, who were Doctors who were Executives, who were women, who had a seat at the table.
They raised their hand.
And they said me too.
I don’t know what to do.
I’m surrounded by men and lost my voice on how to speak up for myself.
And I was like, holy crap.
I thought it was just me, but there’s other powerful women who are struggling with this and they looked at me, Amy, and they said we need someone like you and I was looking behind me.
I’m like, no.
I’m in the corporate world.
In it.
This was my identity.
This is who I was and these women were looking to me for answers.
I’m like, no, I’m looking for answers.
I’m looking to you for support, they’re like, no, we’re looking to you.
Well, of course Amy, I ignored it because I’m like, I have this Persona.
This is who I am.
I’m a corporate leader, three months, go by.
I go to a different conference.
I share my story because I’m still in it.
I’m still suffering and these women Different women who don’t know each other.
They also raise their hand and they said me too.
I don’t know how to speak up.
I’m left out of the decision-making projects.
I am left out from being invited to where they’re making decisions on the golf course and happy our get-togethers.
I’m being excluded.
How do I speak up for myself?
And I will get, I’m looking behind me and I’m like, who are you talking to?
I don’t know the answers.
I’m in, it’s still six months.
Go by.
Eight months, go by the same story.
It was a Monday.
It was actually April.
I think April 11th, and my boss calls me into his office by then.
I’m working 18 hours.
A me.
I’m stressed out.
I wake up with anxiety.
I had all sirs.
I literally was ready to go to the emergency room.
I knew I could not keep this up.
My boss calls me into his office and I just felt that energy.
And so, instead of dropping the mic.
I had a pen in my hand and I dropped a pin.
And I said, I’m out.
And then give a notice.
There’s no two weeks.
Notice.
There was no one week, notice.
It was.
I’m out right then.
And there, I can’t do this.
You want more out of me and I have nothing more to give and I was out and then I was like, holy crap.
What am I going to do?
I didn’t plan on this, but I reflected back to the universe, putting all these people who do not Know each other who did not know me all.
Giving me the same message and I said, fine.
What do you want to do?
And so I surrendered to what my calling was that I was not aware of and that’s how I pursued my new path of being an entrepreneur, who really is about creating transformation for female leaders are entrepreneurs, who are ready for their next level.
But who were like me, who were stuck in?
Who did not know what resources are out there.
Is it just me.
Am I always going to be in this situation?
Or can I have more in my life?
What do you think?
Are the top things that keep women from leader?
From the leadership roles that they desire, self-esteem.
They think, is self-confidence, but self-esteem.
It’s the belief in because that was me.
I did not have the belief that I was enough.
So I thought I needed to get more.
More credentials, were certifications more, more and more and more and more versus just taking action, but I didn’t believe I was enough because I wasn’t being treated like I was, but what’s now interesting, when I reflect back, they were treating me the way I was treating myself.
They were believing in me as much as I was believing in myself, which was very little.
So they were just a reflection of how I was treating myself.
And we don’t know me better when we’re in it.
We’re just surviving and we get stuck in this Whirlwind of a rabbit hole that we can’t get out of it.
We’re just spinning and spinning and spinning trying to Figure out.
How do I get out of it?
How can I be somebody?
How can I have an impact?
How can I have better relationships?
How can I have, more success, more money, more and more and more, which is all good.
We should have it all, but we have to take ourselves out of the situation and that’s hard.
So as Leaders, it’s really about raising your hand and saying I need support, I need help.
I’m ready to surrender.
Just like you said, what’s the difference between confidence and self esteem?
Oh my gosh.
Thank you so much for asking.
I love.
That is something that to this day is very confusing and we unconsciously.
Would we feel like we need more.
We just say, I just have more confidence then I can then I would then I could.
And what happens when we say that we think I need more experience.
I need more education.
I need another certification.
I need to purchase another program.
And because we’re on that mindset of confidence equates to ID more of learning we get stuck, we never take action.
Self-esteem is about the belief in myself that I took action confidence.
Gaining more knowledge.
Now it’s time to take action with what I learned.
So the belief comes naturally, it comes organically when we take action so when we can reframe our wording and I’m saying I need more confidence.
Say I need more self-esteem, immediately, we go into.
Ooh, do I have everything?
I need Within Me.
Do I have all the tools?
I have the Arsenal that I need to take action to move forward.
That changes our trajectory on what direction we go self-esteem.
The belief in ourselves allows us to move forward when we say I need more confidence.
It actually pushes his backwards because we think, oh, I need something else before I can move forward, but What are some of the ways that you can start building yourself up?
If you lack both of those things?
There’s a lot of things you can do.
One thing I recommend when it comes to the belief, I would write down.
What are the things that I’ve accomplished that?
I didn’t that I didn’t did not think was possible.
What did I accomplish?
And how did I do it?
How did it make me feel when I accomplished it?
Sometimes we are afraid to make that next move because we have fear.
We all have fear were set up that way.
Our DNA.
Fight or flight.
It’s there to protect us.
It doesn’t want to stepping outside your comfort zone because it’s there to protect us.
So we need to discuss prove that fear.
When I step into Fierce.
I’m really not fear.
Its excitement, fear and excitement are the same feelings.
It just shifts based on what we call it.
So, when we’re fearful, we’re fill it in our stomach.
When we’re excited, will fill it in our chest, and just use reframing, those words will shift where you fill it.
So if you To step into self-esteem right out.
What have I done that?
I did not think was possible.
How did I do it?
How did I feel?
And that will naturally and organically start building up that self-esteem that belief within yourself.
And then, you can look that I have to go get more that I have to go by Confidence, from a program, from a certification, from another degree from a seminar from a conference, or did I have it all within me?
And I tapped into it and this is a mind shift.
This is where transformation comes from.
We can’t always do it ourselves.
So that’s why I love what I do because I can give women these tools that are so easy and there are game changers like new right that Amy and I’m sure you’ve experienced it yourself or with your clients.
When you give them these powerful tools, you can instantly see transformation like that next day.
Because now they like, who I was telling myself a story that negative self-talk and it’s not true now, I I know how to manage it and mitigate it and tell myself a new story.
I like that.
You know, I think that I think back when I started to go through that transformation.
This is the very very beginning.
All I did was started to put my shoulders back.
Mmm, always making sure my shoulders are back, you know, just with your palms forward.
I would say, oh, my Palms forward and what’s crazy is that, that’s simple shift.
All the people around me started to treat me differently and say, It’s what did you do?
Why are you so confident?
And asking me to do step up, and take some leadership positions.
And I want you to help the other woman with their confidence sort of thing.
And it was just my shoulders.
That’s the only thing that I did.
Well what you did was you open yourself up.
We opened, put your back, your shoulders, put back your shoulders and you open your palms that’s energy and you’re saying I’m here and I’m giving you energy and it’s welcoming some Hospitality.
They talk a lot about, you know, when you Communicate openly communicate with your open Palms because it’s welcoming.
And so that was a power roof.
So, congratulations.
Yeah, definitely.
Yeah, I learned all the open.
Speaking with urine, your hands as well.
But yeah, it’s sometimes it’s just those little things and I’m still terrified on the inside, right?
And that took a longer time for me to to work through, but just making that small moved, really can impact.
How do you help women to believe in themselves on a deeper level?
I can guide them on strategies and gaining tools.
Comes from a lot from journaling and what I was talking about just a few minutes ago on reflecting back.
What have I accomplished in my life?
In my career was my relationships with my family members with my peers, with my colleagues with my executives.
With my team.
What have I accomplished?
And it doesn’t have to be anything Grand like a grand scale.
It could be like I allow people the opportunity to share their opinions in a space where they felt safe.
That’s an accomplishment.
So you want to start listing out what things have I accomplished in my life in my career in my personal life.
And how did I do that?
And that is so valuable and I repeat that because it helps with our self-esteem, it helps.
With us showing up as Leaders, it helps us with mitigating that negative, self-talk, that naturally comes through.
We learn how to disprove it by what we’ve wrote, and it really helps with that belief in ourselves that I can do it.
I do have it in me already to figure it out.
But we never take that time to do that.
Self-reflection.
Do I have everything?
I need?
What are my gaps?
Do I have any gaps that I need to fill in?
If not, I Start taking action and that all organically helps women with their belief, what their self-esteem within themselves, because they can look back and they can’t argue with the words.
They wrote on the paper that are facts.
That is I did accomplish that and I felt amazing when I did that and because of that allow for this opportunity and that allowed for another opportunity.
That’s how I got where I’m at.
And sometimes we reach our glass ceiling and we’re like, holy crap.
I’m now, I’m really afraid of them.
Scared.
And that’s when you seek support a mentor, a coach, a consultant who has done, what I want to do.
I want to learn from them.
What is the best way to establish your non-negotiable core values?
Oh my gosh.
I love this.
I have every one of my clients go through this.
And that’s really first of all boundaries when we don’t have boundaries.
We allow others to dictate how they want to treat us.
So a great example for Boundaries.
And then having your non-negotiable core values.
Everything stems from this.
So, in the great example, I love to share is you say, my core value in my family life is, I’m always going to be there for dinner and be there for my kids activities.
That is my core value at work, my core value or as a business owner is being there for my team and always be expecting accessible and Showing up for meetings whenever they need me.
Now.
We have two competing values.
I want to be there for my kids activities.
I want to be home for dinner, but I’m also saying, I want be there for my team whenever they need me.
No, no boundaries.
And then how many times have you heard women?
Say, I am failing at home and at work.
I cannot do it.
Right?
No matter what I do.
I’m failing.
I don’t know what to do.
Why do I even bother?
Father anymore.
I can’t get this right.
And that’s because they had competing values and they didn’t know it.
So a quick fix could be by really want to be there for my family.
And for my kids activities, my boundary at work is from 4 p.m.
To 7 p.m.
And you let everybody know I am going to be off blind, but after 7, p.m.
I will be back online and I can address any emails, any questions?
If you need support from me.
I will then be available.
And then now you have Again, these boundaries put in place that you let everybody know.
So you can’t succeed in life.
You can succeed in career your career, but we don’t think that way we think like, oh, I’m just going to be yes person because that’s what’s expected of Me versus.
You know, I have these hard boundaries that are setting me up for Success so I can do what I need to do so I can do what I want to do so I can have that impact and I can be that leader that leads by example.
So others know that they They can do the same for themselves.
So having those boundaries as non-negotiables and pick five.
Pick a few for your personal life, pick a few for your professional.
So you have that equal balance.
And sometimes we say yes to working on weekends, you know, even as an entrepreneur are as a corporate leader and you want to say, I will work weekends once a month and you let everybody know that unless they’re just what those one off.
Those are exceptions to the Rules.
But this having those boundaries set you up for success, but we forget that we can give ourselves permission.
We wait for someone else to say.
Oh, Amy, you can do that.
You can create boundaries that set you up for Success because your life is more than just your job and we can tell ourselves that and give ourselves for permission.
We are game changers, you know, you perform better when you’re able to have a balance.
That’s one of the things that I had to learn the hard way because I I’ve used to be I joke.
Now on the workaholic and I’m not really anymore.
I used to be, and I used to just, you know, I would do my 925 925 and then I always had a business on the side.
And so I would work all weekend long, seven days a week, 24 7, it was Non-Stop.
And I was already working a ton even back when I was in the big, you know, the big four.
And so and some people might think, well, that’s insane.
That you had a business on top of working at a big for, yeah.
It was insane.
Um, so I went from that to like you exactly what you said.
I don’t work weekends and I stopped working at six and there’s a very few exceptions, a rare exception, you know, guarding your time.
And what I found is, when I take my the time out and I guard those times, then when I am working, I work harder and I get more done, right, because, you know, I’m allocating this much time.
So I know.
Now I’m going to get stuff done versus Oh my gosh, I’m going to be here all day.
Yeah, the red Andre and energy.
Yeah, and there’s no end to it.
Right?
And so I love that story that you share because I I prided myself on that identity.
I’m a workaholic.
I’m always available.
I’m always working.
I’m hustling.
And that’s not a good identity to have at all.
No, it’s you know, I think when I first started to do Hobbies, I thought what a waste of time.
Why would I, you know, because I’m a An artist.
I’m very artistic and I initially it would think why would I waste my time in paint?
What what I’m going to do with it, you know, and there was one part of me that that, you know, be nice to get my art in a gallery at some point.
And and I remember thinking they’ll but like unless it produced something.
Why would I create it?
But it wasn’t until I took that time out and started to do the things just for fun, which was new to me to do something just for fun.
That’s when I started.
Learn self love.
That’s beautiful.
I would do things for fun and still work.
I was good to you have a balance though, right?
Because like, I wouldn’t even well, no, because I wasn’t present.
I was physically there.
I was not mentally there.
So people knew like I was disconnected.
They’re like, why why do you bother?
Oh, I do bottom.
Yeah, that’s a lesson.
That was a hard lesson to learn, but I had to go through that.
So I And then identify that with my clients and help guide them through it.
Because we don’t know we’re doing that.
We just.
Can’t.
That was the, my Persona.
That was my identity.
I created.
That’s why people thought I was a success.
Not knowing I was a hot mess.
I can so relate.
So what are some of your clients success?
Stories?
Can you share those with us?
Yeah.
Absolutely.
I my latest one which I’m so proud of.
Is someone a female client?
She came to me and she’s all I want you to help me find a job of director of thing.
I’m like director of anything.
I don’t care.
I wanted a supposed to be director at my job.
I didn’t get it.
They gave it to a white and male who’s the same age as me and have who has less experience, but they said I didn’t get it because I did not have enough experience.
So I just want to be out and I want to prove them wrong and I would be director of anything.
I don’t care.
So I was like hmm.
I see an opportunity here.
So I might tell me a little bit more about you.
She’s a former tedx speaker.
She was voted for years in a row, female top female business leader.
She’s someone who took an entrepreneurial program at the University.
She was working that from non-existent to number three in the country within four years.
She’s helped 30,000 entrepreneurs.
Start their businesses and yet she was barely making enough money to pay her bills.
And I’m like, you need a tap into what you’ve been building on this The credibility that you have.
And so I said we’re not going to be director of anything.
There’s a bigger Vision here.
So we started working on the vision.
She was very upset with me because she’s like, I just want to be the director of anything.
Why are you making me do something different?
But I saw a bigger picture, but I just asked her to trust me.
So she trusted me and I’m like you have the skill sets.
You’ve helped 30,000 startups, start their business, you know what it takes.
So, what if what about you doing it on your own?
Let’s try that as a consultant.
So she did within one week.
She gets her first client from that client.
She got referred and recommended to other to other companies who were like, hey, we love you so much.
We want you to be part of our staff, within four months from her.
I want to be director of anything.
I don’t care to, I’m CEO.
I am now a business owner and now I am making a difference in other people’s lives.
Through the organizations that I’m working with.
That wasn’t for months and talk about transformation.
She stepped outside her comfort zone.
She trusted me to trusted the process.
She resisted every part every step of the way, but she still went through it.
When it came to her offer letter.
She knows I negotiate women.
We need to know our worth an onus.
So we always negotiate and she’s like, I wasn’t Going to tell you Renee.
I got my offer letter.
I was just going to sign it and submit it and tell you after because she do.
I was going to have her negotiate and that was outside her comfort zone, but she still reached out to me.
We negotiated.
She like Renee.
I’m so scared.
What if they change their mind?
What if they say?
No, I don’t want you anymore.
I might trust me, they won’t she countered and then they met her where she wanted.
And so what is success story?
She went from Barely able to pay her bills to now her life is transformed.
Now.
She gets to have an impact and be with an organization.
That’s about making a difference in society.
Something that she’s so passionate about she was just going to be in marketing and she like my passion is diversity and inclusion and now she got to create her job role and responsibilities makes off that passion and that all happened because she raised her hand.
I’m saying I need help.
She does.
She wanted to be director of anything that not realizing the universe had such a bigger plant for her.
So I love that.
And that’s why I love saying, like, I help women with transformation because not just about career.
It’s about, how are we showing up?
What’s our self-esteem to believe?
What’s that energy?
We are carried.
How are we carrying our body?
Or my naturally putting back my shoulders now because I still strong.
I feel proud.
I know.
That I would Game Changer and I wanted to bring others along with me.
So that’s just one example.
A me where someone really went through a transformation.
She went through it actually pretty quickly some take a little longer.
But transformation doesn’t have to be always on a grand scale.
It could be that I’m going to go for that.
Next big thing that I thought was not possible.
I love that.
Make a change in my life and focused out on my personal life because it’s always been about my career.
Mmm.
I love That what an amazing story.
Yes.
So what do you call?
Yeah, so what do you think your truth has been that’s gotten you this far in your journey?
What do I think?
My truth has been?
Oh my gosh, talk about transparency and I really had to turn on and I had to reflect all those things.
I went through my life in my career.
I had a really make a point to capture them all to say they were not for nothing and own those stories as To share with others to connect so that they know that.
Oh, this isn’t only happening to me.
And because I put in the work and I learned, what could I have done differently?
What would have been different if I would have known more?
And I always look back and say, wow, Renee, like if I would have known that, there were people like me today, but let’s say 20 years ago that there was someone like a Renee and Amy out there that could have been a game-changer for me, but that wasn’t going to be part of my story.
So I own that now, but that’s so important.
We have a tendency specifically a high-performing women to just keep going.
And going that we sometimes we forget to reflect back and say like what were those lessons that I should have learned?
So that it, that I don’t repeat them because that’s part of our story and how we create impact and change for others.
So it’s been really a lot.
And vulnerability.
A lot of transparency, but that has allowed my clients to have breakthroughs and it’s through my stories.
And so I’m very proud about that and that’s why I’m so happy to be here on this podcast with you to share a little bit about my story.
So women know like they know that they’re not alone and then they’re not the only one going through, you know, maybe a little hardship, little confusion filling that heard seen and respected feeling like they have a seat at the table, but it’s being taken away.
Way.
And I say, let’s build a bigger table.
That’s right.
I love that.
If you’re able to give yourself one piece of advice, when you first started out, what would it be?
Do research.
I talked about this through our podcast today about looking to see within me.
What do I have already before I go fill in some gaps before I go filling in gaps by purchasing everything.
So as a beginner in an entrepreneurial life, it was where hire coaches and programs.
They’re really good at marketing.
And they sold me.
And I think they’re going to give me the answers.
They’re going to be that full the miracle.
They’re gonna solve all my problems and make it so easy for me and that’s not the case.
And I relied too heavily on other people to create my success versus someone saying Renee is within you.
Do these next five moves.
Let’s work on 90 days at a time.
Let’s break it down.
What do you want to accomplish and then break it down from there?
And but I was too busy.
I needed more again, the confidence.
Oh, I need to buy this program.
I need to do this and I knew, I needed to do that.
And I spent three years, spending spending spending my money and never taken action, because I didn’t know what to do by that time.
I’m so confused.
Everyone’s telling me something different and what my focus on analysis paralysis and that’s what happened.
So, I’m really passionate when I do work with entrepreneurs on, like, don’t purchase anything till we prove you.
To I’m the same way when I’m talking to people about marketing.
There’s so many new shiny things out there as there’s a new software, you know, and I tell everyone about appsumo and then I’m like, but make sure you don’t go out and buy everything that’s such a cheap, but it’s cheap and his lifetime deals, you know, but yeah, and and I’m happy for a lot of the things that I purchased on there.
But it is so easy to go down these rabbit Trails of oh, I could use a nap for My business can you know like maybe that didn’t make sense and then we have three and four programs at all doing the same thing and you’re like what?
I don’t know which one that is.
I right.
Definitely.
It’s amazing.
So Renee if somebody’s listening and they would like to work with you.
What’s the best way to cook to contact you?
Yes.
Oh, I made it really easy on my social platforms.
It’s at empowered.
Coach one word.
That’s the easiest way on LinkedIn.
It’s that on Instagram, it is that way.
Emails a little longer, so I always just tell people to send me a DM.
That’s the easiest way act empowered coach perfect, and I’ll put all those links down below.
Thank you so much for coming on today and sharing your journey and your expertise around leadership and how women can begin to grow into who they’re called to be.
Thank you so much, Amy.
Yes, and if you’re listening, you want more information about a call to thrive and upcoming shows.
You can visit a call to thrive.com.
Thank you, everyone.
For listening.
Have a wonderful.